Picture this: Your partner did something really hurtful and inconsiderate. Or maybe you just had a nasty fight that left you wondering how you ended up here—or even questioning why you’re still here. Sound familiar?
We’ve all been there. But what if I told you there’s a simple trick that could help you navigate these stormy relationship waters?
Enter: The Positives List.
Now, before you roll your eyes thinking this is some cheesy, kumbaya solution, hear me out. This little hack packs a serious punch when it comes to maintaining a healthy, happy relationship.
What Exactly is The Positives List?
It’s exactly what it sounds like—a list of all the positive qualities you love and admire about your partner. I’m talking about:
- Those traits that initially drew you to them
- The moments of kindness, strength, or humor that make you think, “Yep, that’s why I’m with this person”
- The little things they do that make your day brighter
- The big ways they’ve supported you through thick and thin
The key is to keep this list easily accessible. Stash it in your phone’s notes app, tuck it in your wallet, or stick it on your fridge. Wherever you’ll see it regularly, especially when things get tough.
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In your inbox (almost) every week.
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Why Is This So Powerful?
Here’s the thing: our brains are wired to focus on the negative, especially when we’re upset. All those wonderful qualities that made us fall in love? They suddenly become harder to recall when we’re in the thick of an argument.
That’s where your list comes in. It serves as an easily accessible, tangible reminder of the good stuff when your mind is clouded by frustration or hurt. It’s like a relationship lifeline, pulling you back to shore when you feel like you’re drifting apart.
The Benefits of The Positives List
Now, I’m not saying this list is a magic cure-all for relationship problems. (If only it were that easy, right?) But it is a powerful tool for:
- Defusing tension in heated moments
- Rekindling appreciation for your partner
- Maintaining perspective during tough times
- Strengthening your emotional connection
- Reminding you why you chose this person in the first place
The beauty of this hack? It works both ways. Not only does it help you shift your perspective, but it can also guide you in finding your way back to the person you love. And even better, it can help them find their way back to you.
Why It Works
Think about it: How often do we take the time to really appreciate our partners? In the daily grind of life, it’s easy to take each other for granted. This list serves as a constant reminder of the good in your relationship, even on the days when it feels hard to see.
Ready to Create Your Own Positives List?
Here’s your homework:
- Grab your phone, a notebook, or even a napkin (hey, inspiration strikes in weird places!)
- Start listing all those positive qualities about your partner
- Keep adding to it as you notice more wonderful traits
- Place your list somewhere easily accessible
And remember, this isn’t a one-and-done deal. Keep updating your list as your relationship grows and evolves. You might be surprised at how many positives you discover along the way!
