Author: Dr. Zhana

The End of an Era: A Love Letter to My Apartment

At the end of May, I packed up the Lower East Side apartment I’d lived in for over four years—my first solo home in New York City—and put everything into storage.

How to Debrief After a Threesome, Foursome or More

In my last newsletter on threesomes, I said that the most important conversations aren’t just the ones before clothes come off—they’re the ones that happen after, too. So today, I want to build on that and share something practical: a debrief template for processing group play.

What Makes a Threesome Work?

I was recently interviewed for a Vogue piece where we explored what it actually takes to make threesomes work. It’s a topic I’ve thought about deeply—personally, professionally, and academically—and today, I want to share more of my own perspective.

Navigating the Comparison Trap in NonMonogamy

Have you ever noticed yourself comparing your relationships—and then feeling unsure what to do with that? We’re often told not to compare our partners—and it’s true that comparison can stir up insecurity, jealousy, or pressure to keep things “equal.” But in nonmonogamy, comparison isn’t always the enemy.

Where Do You Meet Partners These Days?

I think it’s something a lot of us have asked at some point: “Where do I actually meet people these days?” They were feeling frustrated after yet another disappointing round on dating apps. I get it. I’ve been there. Apps can be exhausting. But they’re not the only way….