At the end of May, I packed up the Lower East Side apartment I’d lived in for over four years—my first solo home in New York City—and put everything into storage.

In my last newsletter on threesomes, I said that the most important conversations aren’t just the ones before clothes come off—they’re the ones that happen after, too. So today, I want to build on that and share something practical: a debrief template for processing group play.

I was recently interviewed for a Vogue piece where we explored what it actually takes to make threesomes work. It’s a topic I’ve thought about deeply—personally, professionally, and academically—and today, I want to share more of my own perspective.