What's Your Ideal Relationship Structure?

Noah is not like that. He enjoys sex and finds Rachel really attractive, but he’s perfectly happy with their twice-a-month routine. Noah just doesn’t have the same sex drive that Rachel does, nor does he have her level of sexual adventurousness. He feels nagged by her constant asking for more. He’s all for continuing to throw in the occasional new thing, like when they’ve explored anal, role-play, or sex on the beach, and he’s grateful Rachel has been open to experimenting. But he doesn’t need other people and definitely doesn’t want the complications and difficult emotions other people will bring.

She’s brought up an open relationship in the past, but Noah’s never been receptive to the idea. He doesn’t want to deal with the feelings of jealousy he knows will hit him like a ton of bricks, the sexual health concerns he’ll have to worry about, or the external judgment he’ll have to endure from his more conservative friends and family. And he just can’t shake off this feeling that Rachel’s interest in exploring outside the relationship means that he is somehow not enough or that she’s unsatisfied with him. Not to mention, he’s afraid opening up the relationship could open the door to losing the stability and security their partnership gives them. He loves their life and family and wants nothing to change that.

Rachel doesn’t want to leave either, but she’s feeling more and more stifled. She’s been suppressing her needs and frustration for far too long and can’t do it much longer. She feels like she might even end up cheating, and she really doesn’t want that. But she also doesn’t want to go to her grave without having explored more.

Except that these first months of openness have proven a total disaster. First, Jamal brought up the possibility of their first threesome at completely the wrong time, place, and with the wrong person, which made Tim feel totally unseen and uncared for. It set the whole opening-up experiment back by over a month.

Then Tim ended up hooking up with someone during a work trip even though they agreed not to play separately until they’ve played together at least once. And to make matters worse, he didn’t tell Jamal about it for months. When they finally managed to have a couple of fun and seemingly uncomplicated threesomes with a mutual friend, Jamal started developing feelings for this younger man and now wants to date him more seriously, essentially turning this open relationship into a polyamorous one. Tim has “freaked out” multiple times and become resentful and angry at his husband – polyamory is not what he signed up for.

Tim’s worst nightmares are coming true. Their connection, sex, intimacy, parenting… basically everything has suffered. They’re both filled with doubt; “Can an open relationship work?” “Could it work for us?” “Are we even meant to be together?”

Now newly single, financially stable, and endlessly curious, Alejandra can’t wait to explore everything sensual pleasure has to offer: partners of different races and genders, casual hookups, play parties, group play, domination, submission, anal play, all the kinks, you name it, she wants to try it.

But where does she start? How does she go about it when she knows nothing about sexuality? She’s excited but also anxious and confused. She has a thousand questions: Where to find the right partners? How to communicate her needs and boundaries, keep herself safe, please her partners, treat them well, find a community, and shed the shame she still carries about her desires? And what kind of a relationship does she actually want eventually?