A lot of couples struggle to find complete sexual fulfillment in long-term monogamous relationships. However, opening up to consensual nonmonogamy carries its own set of challenges and fears. And the reality is, complete sexual and romantic openness (like, polyamory, for example) wouldn’t work for everyone either. Luckily, there’s a middle ground. Enter what the famous sex advice columnist Dan Savage called “monogamish”.
“Monogamish” is a term to describe couples that are “…mostly monogamous but [engage in] some small amount of sexual openness,” as I explain in an interview for this Vice article “I Went to a Sex Resort to Try and Learn to Be ‘Monogamish‘”. Different couples define their arrangement differently. Some allow their partners to flirt with or kiss others, while others might go to sex parties while only having sex with each other or participate in very occasional threesomes. Being “monogamish” is different for everyone and there is no one right way to do it.
Exploring the idea of being “monogamish” is becoming increasingly popular recently. The key to exploring this (and anything else you might want to try in your relationship) is to communicate. Take the time to talk to your partner and figure out what your individual desires are. Once you figure out what you want individually, find the overlap and try starting with the least “scary” activity on your list and work your way up.
Learn more about being “monogamish” and one of the many ways to give it a try, by reading this article. And if you want to discuss things with an expert, try scheduling a consultation with me. All one-off sessions are 50% off all of January!