Listen to comedian, Joe Pardavila, and I sit down each week with a new sex researcher to talk about the latest information on anything and everything to do with sex.
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Sexual attraction vs. romantic attraction. Yes, there's a difference! Sexual attraction is about who you want to fuck. Romantic attraction is about who you fall in love with. Both are usually discussed in terms of the gender of the people you're attracted to.
They often go hand in hand, especially among folks who are on either end of the sexual orientation spectrum (completely straight or completely gay) or people who are demisexual (only sexually attracted to someone after they've developed romantic attachment to them). Such folks tend to be sexually attracted to the same gender that they're romantically attracted to.
For bisexual people, the two often diverge. Many bisexual people are more sexually attracted to women but more romantically interested in men. Or vice versa.
Divergence in sexual vs romantic attraction can also apply to traits other than gender, like people's physical appearance or personality traits. You may be sexually attracted to athletic, dominant people but romantically attracted to kind, funny people. Our hearts and genitals sometimes like the same thing, sometimes they like different things.
When people feel this divergence, it can be confusing. It can complicate your labels and your identity. But it's perfectly normal and common!
There might be some evolutionary reasons behind it (for example, our genitals are more interested in good genes, our hearts in good long-term partners and parents). Or not. It doesn't really matter. You can choose how you want it to impact your life and to what extent you want to take action based on your sexual attraction or your romantic attraction.
Recognizing your romantic attraction and your sexual attraction doesn't have to be complicating. It can be an opportunity to better understand yourself and your desires ... See MoreSee Less