Here’s a recap of what we talked about on this week’s Legit Sex Science Show on Periscope and Facebook Live (Tuesdays, 11am-1pm New York time), with info and links to all the sex research studies and sex products we discussed. And if you’d rather watch Dr. Zhana than read here, the Periscope replay is at the bottom of this blog post! Make sure you follow Dr. Zhana on Periscope (@DrZhana) or Facebook (@ZhanaVrangalova).
Sex Research News
A Happy Partner is a Healthy You
- We know that people who are happy are physically healthier and exercise more.
- The current study extended this idea to see whether having a happy romantic partner also predicts self-health, above and beyond being happy oneself.
- In this nationally representative study of 2,000 couples, results supported the hypothesis: Partner happiness uniquely predicted better self-health over and above the contribution of own happiness.
- The takeaway? Keeping your partner happy might be keeping YOU physically healthy!
What Predicts Sexual Offending Among Men who are Sexually Attracted to Kids?
- Which men attracted to children actually offend against a child? A new study with a large online sample of over 1,000 men who reported being sexually attracted to kids (the largest study of pedophiles who were not in contact with the criminal justice system) finds that the correlates may not be what you expect.
- In this study, child-attracted men were asked about whether they had sexually offended, as well as different factors that might contribute to sexual offending. Interestingly, most of the men reported never offending, although their rates were higher than those among men who were not attracted to children.
- Results from the surveys showed that men were more likely to offend if they:
- were older
- had a stronger attraction to kids vs. adults
- had often struggled with the desire not to offend
- were themselves sexually abused as kids
- were attracted to male vs female children
- had worked in jobs that put them repeatedly in jobs with kids (thus increasing their opportunity to offend)
- Factors that were not associated with actual offending? Having permissive attitudes regarding child-adult sex and indulging in frequent fantasies about kids.
- The takeaway? The majority of pedophiles may not offend against children, and the chances of offending depend more on personal history and proximity to kids than on permissive attitudes and frequent fantasies.
Bailey, J. M., Bernhard, P. A., Hsu, K. J. (2016). An Internet study of men sexually attracted to children: Correlates of sexual offending against children. Journal of Abnormal Psychology,125(7), 989-1000.
Psychological Outcomes in Kids of Gay Dads vs. Heterosexual Parents
- When it comes to the outcomes of kids with sexual minority parents, there’s lots of literature on kids with lesbian mothers, and not much on kids with gay fathers. The current study helps to rectify that!
- This study, which is actually a quantitative review of 10 previously published studies, finds that kids with gay dads have better psychological outcomes than kids of heterosexual parents (which corroborates the findings from research on lesbian parents). So, why might this be?
- First possibility is class: Oftentimes gay fathers have higher socioeconomic status than straight families because they have to be able to afford the process of adoption/surrogacy.
- Second possibility is readiness: There’s a lot more deliberation among gay people about whether or not to have children, so those who become parents really want it and do a lot of planning around it. (Unlike in the straight world where about 50% of pregnancies are unplanned.)
- The takeaway? Not only are kids with gay dads not suffering, psychologically speaking, they’re actually doing somewhat better on average than kids with straight parents. Take that, homophobes!
Miller, B. G., Kors, S., Macfie, J. (2016). No differences? Meta-analytic comparisons of psychological adjustment in children of gay fathers and heterosexual parents. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity.
The first product we talked about today is Uberlube, my favorite silicone-based lube. Lube is really important. Sure, depending on the partner and the type of sex you’re having, you may not need it every time, but for many people, in many situations, lube is an absolute necessity, and certainly a great aid. Lube is particularly important for any kind of anal sex, sex with condoms, condomless sex with circumcised penises, sex toys, women post menopause, or women who for whatever reason do not lubricate a lot.
Silicone-based lubes like this one are a great choice because, unlike water-based lube, they don’t get absorbed by the body, so they last longer and you don’t need to use as much! And Uberlube in particular is so slick and slippery and amazing. (Just don’t use silicone-based lube with silicone toys!)
Get your own bottle of Uberlube now at my favorite sex store The Pleasure Chest with free shipping (to most countries) for all orders over $75! Or if you live in NYC, LA, or Chicago, check out one of their gorgeous stores and do some in-person shopping! They also have great sex education workshops you might want to check out.
The other toy I highlighted this week was the Lelo IRIS, made by the great Swedish toy manufacturer, LELO. The IRIS is an internal and external vibrator with a variety of speeds. You can use it on your clit or in your vagina or ass, either on yourself or on a partner. It’s especially good when you want something very hard inside you, rather than the softer, squishier variety. (To each their own, right?)
Like virtually all LELO toys, the IRIS is made of high-quality silicone that is body safe and pleasant on your skin, and it’s also waterproof and rechargeable. Just make sure you use plenty of water-based (not silicone-based) lube with all your silicone toys.
Get the IRIS now at Lelo.com and remember to use the DRZHANA discount code for 20% off and free shipping on all your purchases! And throw in some of LELO’s water-based lube while you’re at it.
Why do so many women fake orgasms?
Women fake orgasms for a variety of reasons. First, they’re socialized to be pleasing and giving, so they feel pressure to boost their male partners’ egos. Second, sometimes they just want the sex to end. This happens because PVI often isn’t enough to make women cum: 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation as well. Not everyone is aware of this or comfortable acknowledging it, so the faking just continues. However, there is a solution: adding clitoral stimulation! Taking your pleasure, in other words… into your own hands. 😉
Until next time,
— Zhana Vrangalova PhD (@DrZhana) November 1, 2016